I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
