I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
