pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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