this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
