dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
barbara walters just said penis...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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