Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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