Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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