You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
