If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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