i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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