I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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