i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
