Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
