Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
be right there i have to get my cape
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.