A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
