You smell like a Billy Joel song
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
