capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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