It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
