idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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