Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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