i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
