too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
