I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet he comes in French.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wish you could order shots online.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
