bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
