Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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