My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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