just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
