Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
