we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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