woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
