I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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