i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
