So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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