There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
