In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
