and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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