week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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