You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
