So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
