I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
