I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
