do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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