The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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