Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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