So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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