Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
