my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
