i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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