i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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