When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
