I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
