That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
