If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
