This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
