I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
