I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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