Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
