We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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