So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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