my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
