i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
