I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
