the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can I color on your dick again?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
