He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
